The Happiest Baby on the Block: The New Way to Calm Crying and Help Your Newborn Baby Sleep Longer

Baby expert Dr. Harvey Karp reveals what every new parent wants—an automatic “off-switch” for their baby’s crying.

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kk: From The Parent’s Club, I’m Karsen Kolnicki. This is your briefing.
[MUSIC PLAYS]
kk: Today, we’re discussing The Happiest Baby on the Block. Written by Dr. Harvey Karp.
In this title, America’s #1 pediatrician reveals an extraordinary treasure sought by parents for centuries—an automatic “off-switch” for their baby’s crying.
That’s why pediatricians across the country are praising him, and millions of parents are turning to him to learn the secrets for making babies happy.
kk: Vincent Phamvan on the key takeaways [pause] and what you need to know.
[MUSIC ENDS]
kk: Vincent, what’s the hardest part about being a new parent?
vp: For my wife and me, the hardest part in the early weeks was getting enough sleep. This is especially common for new moms and dads. That’s why this book is one of the most popular reads for new parents.
It helps parents understand why babies cry so much and what to do about it. Baby-calming is a must-learn skill. And it’s something that you can practice and master as a parent.
Dr. Karp teaches five simple techniques. It’s called the Five S’s and learning them can be the difference between sleepless nights and a great parenting experience to a newborn. Dr. Karp explains in the book that babies cry because they’re brought into the world before they’re ready.
kk: If babies could choose, they’d probably want to stay in the womb forever.
vp: Yes, newborn babies need a lot of help. They can’t sit up on their own, they can’t turn on their own, they can’t even burp without getting help.
kk: So that's probably why newborn babies cry so much.
Vincent: That’s right. Because newborn babies are so fragile and constantly overwhelmed, they need soothing with constant nourishment, which is what the womb provides for them. Dr. Karp argues that babies are born about three months before they’re physically ready to enter the world.
And because of this early arrival, babies cry for help and they rely on their caregivers to respond. It’s an instinctual reaction to ensure they get constant care.
kk: So that’s why babies cry when they’re hungry, cold, need a fresh diaper, or they’re just scared.
vp: Exactly, the crying is natural and parents shouldn’t worry about spoiling their baby when they cry. Letting your baby cry is dangerous. The research shows that it’s been linked to increased breastfeeding problems and even crib death. In the first few months, your baby needs you when they are crying.
The good news is colicky babies will outgrow their colicky symptoms during what’s called the fourth trimester. Over time, you can let your instincts guide you and show your child love when they need it.
And soon, your baby will learn to feel safe when you’re around. And there are a few helpful tricks that you can learn to help as well.
kk: So what are those tricks that you should keep up your sleeve?
vp: Babies have calming reflexes that protect them during the pregnancy, but they also still help after they enter the world. That’s what the Five “S”s are here for, when the baby experiences one or more of these Five “S”s, it’ll help them feel the same comfort that they had while they were in the womb.
So the first two “S”s are swaddling and the side position.
kk: What exactly is swaddling, and how does it work?
vp: So the first S, swaddling, is a simple way to trigger your baby’s calming reflex. This is when you wrap your baby tightly. You are simulating the continuous pressure of the womb.
Babies feel soothed and relaxed by this pressure. And the baby will be more inclined to also respond positively to the other S triggers.
kk: Can this be bad for the baby in any way? Would tightly wrapping your baby be too constricting?
vp: The research actually shows that swaddling decreases the risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) when done correctly. Babies don’t want to or like squirming and flailing. They just can’t help it, so swaddling your baby and preventing this movement actually helps your baby feel safe again.
kk: So when are the right times to swaddle your baby? And how often should you do this?
vp: Parents should limit swaddling to two specific times—sleeping and crying episodes. And also, Dr. Karp explains that you should gradually decrease frequency over time as the baby matures. This ensures that the baby can stretch and move as much as they like.
kk: Is it hard to swaddle a baby?
vp: It’s definitely something that you can learn to do with practice. You can use any blanket to swaddle a baby, but Erin and I found with our baby that there were a lot of swaddles available that used zippers or velcro that made it easier to stay wrapped.
kk: Oh that’s cool. We’ll grab some of your favorites and include them in our show notes for this episode.
vp: Sounds good.
kk: What’s the second S? You mentioned it was the side position?
vp: Yes, so the second S is the side position. When you lay a baby on its back, the author says its nervous system may interpret this position as falling, and so the baby gets startled. So when you roll your baby on its side, it triggers a calming reflex, especially when swaddled.
kk: Wait, I heard that newborn babies should sleep on their backs though?
vp: Yes, newborn babies should sleep on their backs without pillows, other blankets, or toys in their bassinet. And ensuring that your baby doesn’t sleep on its side significantly reduces the risk of SIDS too.
kk: So the side position is not for sleep, but really just a calming position?
vp: Right, once your baby is calm and ready for sleep, roll it onto its back.
kk: That’s a great tip. How about the third S?
vp: The third S has to do with noise. When babies are in the womb, the sound of blood rushing around the womb is actually louder than a vacuum cleaner.
kk: So it sounds like babies really aren’t used to silence.
vp: That’s right. That’s why white noise machines are great at helping babies sleep. For them, silence is not what they’re used to. Noise can actually calm babies down, especially noises that mimic the whooshing sound from the womb.
So the third S is shushing. It’s a sort of white noise you can make with your mouth. And shushing is an important part of calming down a baby. You start with a soft “shhhh” sound, and then slowly raise your volume to meet the level of the crying.
Then as the baby calms down, you can lower your volume again.
kk: So what does that sound like?
vp: So you just do it like this….
[SHUSHING SOUND]
kk: Okay -- that sounds easy enough. What’s next?
vp: So the fourth S is swinging. It’s another way to break the crying cycle.
kk: Isn’t it bad to shake babies?
Vincent: Yes, shaking a baby is very dangerous, but swinging is different and it can be approached cautiously. Babies don’t like stillness. In the womb, they’re always moving around when the mother went about her normal life.
So swinging is a way to recreate this constant movement.
When you swing, you rock the baby around your arms rapidly, but only within a few inches. When you progress to gentle rocking, you can use the motion when you’re sitting or standing.
Karsen: Got it, so swinging and rocking are very different from shaking.
Vincent: Yes, swinging is a small movement while supporting the baby’s head and neck. Shaking can lead to brain damage and even death, so you never, ever want to shake your baby. Especially and even when you’re angry.
Karsen: Okay - never shake your baby, ever. Once you calm the baby down, how do you sustain this?
Vincent: That’s exactly what the last S is for. The last S is sucking. It’s a way to make sure that the calming reflex lasts and your baby doesn’t start crying again.
A baby needs to drink about three ounces of milk per pound of body weight. So breastfeeding or using formula is vital. And once your baby has that down, making use of pacifiers can also calm babies down between feedings.
Karsen: How long should pacifiers be used?
Vincent: Dr. Karp and most pediatricians recommend using them only during the first six months. If they’re still used by month nine, the child will form an emotional attachment to the pacifier and would struggle to go without it.
Karsen: Okay, so now that we’ve covered the five “S”s, something we haven’t talked about yet is where the baby should sleep.
Vincent: So the author says that during the first nine months, it’s okay to keep your baby in your bedroom for easy nighttime care. However, Dr. Karp doesn’t recommend co-sleeping or bedsharing, since it can increase the risk of SIDs.
Karsen: Is that because you may roll onto your baby?
Vincent: Yes, and also your sheets may restrict their breathing or they can roll into riskier side positions.
Karsen: Where did Lily sleep when she was born?
Vincent: So we actually use Dr. Karp’s sleep bassinet. It’s called the SNOO, and it was great. Lily loved it.
Karsen: That’s the sleep bassinet that uses some of the five “S” to help calm Lily, right?
Vincent: Yes, it has a built-in swaddle, and when Lily would get fussy, it would actually play white noise through a speaker and actually increase and decrease the volume automatically. It would also simulate a light rocking motion to calm her and help her get back to sleep.
It was honestly great.
Karsen: That sounds like a game changer. We’ll put a link with more information about Dr. Karp’s SNOO in the show notes for this episode as well.
Karsen: It sounds like the key takeaway from this book is that babies cry in their first few months because they aren’t ready to be born yet. So you can trigger a baby’s calming reflex by simulating the environment they were used to in the womb. These are Dr. Karp’s Five “S”s, which are swaddling, side position, shushing, swinging, and sucking. If you practice this, you’ll be a pro at soothing your baby.
[MUSIC STARTS]
Karsen: That’s it for your briefing. I’m Karsen Kolnicki. See you next time.
[MUSIC ENDS]

Introduction

In this title, America’s #1 pediatrician, Dr. Harvey Karp, discovers an incredible treasure sought by parents for centuries—an automated “off-switch” for their baby’s crying—in perhaps the most important parenting book of the decade.

Dr. Karp is praised by pediatricians around the world, and thousands of parents who have turned to him for the secrets of how to make their babies happy.

Through his research and experience, he has developed four basic principles that are crucial for understanding babies as well as improving their sleep and soothing their senses: The Missing Fourth Trimester, The Calming Reflex, The 5 “S’s”and The Cuddle Cure.

The hardest part of being a new parent

The hardest part in the early weeks is getting enough sleep. That’s why this book is one of the most popular reads for new parents. Baby-calming is a must-learn skill and it’s something that you can practice and master as a parent.

Why babies cry

  • Babies cry because they’re brought into the world before they’re ready
  • Newborn babies need a lot of help, they can’t sit up, turn, or even burp on their own.
  • Newborn babies are fragile and constantly overwhelmed, they need soothing with constant nourishment, which is what the womb provides for them
  • Letting your baby cry is dangerous, they need you when they cry and will learn to feel safe around you

Calming your baby

The good news is colicky babies will outgrow their colicky symptoms during what’s called the fourth trimester.

Over time, you can let your instincts guide you and show your child love when they need it. And soon, your baby will learn to feel safe when you’re around.

There are a few helpful tricks that you can learn to help as well.

Ways to calm – recreate the womb

Babies have calming reflexes that protect them during the pregnancy, but they also still help after they enter the world.

That’s what the Five “S”s are here for, to trigger the calming reflex. When the baby experiences one or more of these Five “S”s, it’ll help them feel the same comfort that they had while they were in the womb.

  1. Swaddling
  2. Side position
  3. Shushing
  4. Swinging
  5. Sucking

The Five “S”s

1️⃣ Swad·dle To wrap (someone, especially a baby) in garments or cloth.

Swaddling your baby is a simple way to trigger the calming reflex. By wrapping your child tightly, you replicate the continuous pressure of the womb.

  • Relaxed by this pressure, your baby will be more inclined to respond to further triggers.

Can swaddling be bad?

  • Research shows that swaddling decreases the risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) when done correctly.
  • Babies don’t like squirming, they just can’t help it, so swaddling prevents this movement helps your baby feel safe again.

When to swaddle?

  • Parents should limit swaddling to two specific times—sleeping and crying episodes.
  • Dr. Karp explains that you should gradually decrease frequency over time as the baby matures.
    • This ensures that the baby can stretch and move as much as they like.

How to swaddle?

  • You can use any blanket to swaddle a baby
  • There were a lot of swaddles available that use zippers or velcro that make it easier to stay wrapped
  • Practice makes perfect

2️⃣ The second “S” is for side position. When you go to put your baby down, if you lay them on their back, their nervous system may interpret this position as falling, and so the baby gets startled.

  • When you roll the baby on its side, it triggers a calming reflex, especially when swaddled.
  • The side position is NOT for sleeping, only for calming your baby down before sleep
  • Newborn babies should sleep on their backs without pillows, other blankets, or toys in their bassinet
    • Ensuring that your baby doesn’t sleep on its side significantly reduces the risk of SIDS
  • Once your baby is calm and ready for sleep, roll it onto its back

3️⃣ Shushing helps. Babies are not used to silence. When babies are in the womb, the sound of blood rushing around the womb is actually louder than a vacuum cleaner.

  • Noise can actually calm babies down, especially noises that mimic the whooshing sound from the womb, such as a white noise machine or shushing
  • A soft swishing or rustling sound made by something moving.
  • Shushing is a white noise you make with your mouth
  • Start with a soft “shhhh” sound, and then slowly raise your volume to meet the level of the crying. Then as the baby calms down, you can lower your volume again.

4️⃣ Swinging is the fourth way to break the crying cycle.

  • Babies don’t like stillness. In the womb, they’re always moving around when the mother went about her normal life, so swinging is a way to recreate this constant movement.
  • Shaking is very dangerous, but swinging is different
    • Swinging, like rocking, is a small movement done while supporting the baby’s head and neck
    • When you swing, you rock the baby around your arms rapidly, but only within a few inches
    • You progress to gentle rocking, which can be done when you’re sitting or standing

Shaking can lead to brain damage and even death, so you never, ever want to shake your baby!

5️⃣. Sucking is a way to make sure that the calming reflex lasts and your baby doesn’t start crying again.

  • A baby needs to drink about three ounces of milk per pound of body weight, so breastfeeding or using formula is vital
  • Once your baby has that down, using pacifiers can calm babies down between feedings

How long should pacifiers be used?

  • Dr. Karp and most pediatricians recommend using them only during the first six months
  • If they’re still used by month nine, the child will form an emotional attachment to the pacifier and would struggle to go without it

Where your baby should sleep

  • First 9 months
    • During the first nine months, it’s okay to keep your baby in your bedroom for easy nighttime care
  • Co-sleeping or bedsharing
    • Dr. Karp doesn’t recommend co-sleeping or bedsharing, since it can increase the risk of SIDs
    • You may roll onto your baby or they can roll into riskier positions
    • Your sheets may restrict their breathing
  • The snoo
    • Dr. Karp’s sleep bassinet that uses the five “S”s to help calm your baby and stop their crying
    • it has a built-in swaddle, simulates a light rocking motion, and when your baby gets fussy, it plays white noise through a speaker and increases and decreases the volume automatically

Key takeaways

  • Babies cry in their first few months because they aren’t ready to be born yet.
  • You can trigger a baby’s calming reflex by simulating the environment they were used to in the womb.
  • Dr. Karp’s Five “S”s, are swaddling, side position, shushing, swinging, and sucking. If you practice this, you’ll be a pro at soothing your baby.

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