Transcript
Karsen: From the Parent’s Club, I’m Karsen Kolnicki.
Vincent: And I’m Vincent Phamvan. This is our member’s question episode. In each Q&A episode, hear about the most important things you need to know as a parent, and what the research shows will help your family learn, grow, and thrive.
John: Hey guys, this is John from Austin, TX. I really like these Q&A episodes that you’ve been doing. So my question is about feeling like an equal parenting partner. With our newborn, my wife is doing most of the feedings. I’m really struggling to find my place and role in how to contribute more as a parent. Thanks for your help.
Vincent: Hey John, thanks for being a Parent’s Club member. This is a great question, and I felt the same way when my daughter Lily was born. My wife Erin would cover the feedings, and it was hard to figure out my place and role.
Times are changing though, and modern parenting is becoming more inclusive. This includes having fathers who are becoming more involved with caring for their children. In fact, research presented to the United Nations shows that fathers who are involved are healthier, happier, have increased self-confidence, and a much better understanding of their child’s development.
Today, dads are engaging more with their kids. In fact, sociologists at BYU and Ball State found that a majority of fathers today are relatively involved in their children’s lives, which is causing a shift in how fathers are viewing their roles. Today’s dad’s spend more time, provide more care, and are more loving towards their kids than ever before. Dads are increasingly seeing themselves as an equal parenting partner in raising their kids.
So it’s natural for you to ask the question of how you can play your part, especially if your partner is currently breastfeeding. Breast milk is typically all that a baby will need for the first six months. Regardless of how the baby is eating—breast or bottle-fed, there’s ways that fathers can help support. For example, you can help the baby latch, swaddle the baby after feeding, or by sitting next to your partner, fully engaged, to show that you’re being supportive.
You should definitely look into your paternity leave options, which will vary by country and company. Fathers who take a paternity leave end up being more confident in their caring abilities and have stronger relationships with their partners. It also helps your bond with your child, which the research points out can improve the child’s well-being later too.
Another idea for how you can help is to take a new-parent course on first aid. This will ensure that you’re equipped to respond in the event of an emergency with your infant. This will focus on preventing accidents, first aid, water safety, choking, and CPR for infants. Some courses will also get into other common symptoms like rashes or constipation.
Many of the parenting responsibilities actually don’t directly involve your baby. And that’s another area for dads to jump in. For example, you can take care of cooking, cleaning, and other upkeep around the house. If you’re proactive with helping here without being asked, it can help your partner feel more supported.
And lastly, spending time with your baby can help with early brain and language development. Research shows that signing, reading, and making facial expressions can help with increasing a baby’s attention and positive emotion. It’s a great way to bond with the baby. Playing games like Peek-a-boo make a difference in helping the baby learn your touch, voice, and face more quickly.
With a new baby at home, it’s often easier to stay at home. But going outside is good for both the parent’s mental health as well as the baby’s ability to explore different environments. When you go out, wearing a baby carrier is a great way to support mom, and baby-wearing is a great way for dads to bond too.
And if it weren’t obvious, while mom takes care of the baby during the day, you can consider taking on one of the night feeds so that your partner can get longer stretches of sleep. Babies can take a bottle within a few weeks of being born, so you can definitely help out if mom is able to pump, or if your family uses formula.
Karsen: That’s it for this member Q&A episode. I’m Karsen Kolnicki.
Vincent: And I’m Vincent Phamvan.
Karsen: We’ll talk with you again next time.
Question: Hey guys, this is John from Austin, TX. I really like these Q&A episodes that you’ve been doing. So my question is about feeling like an equal parenting partner. With our newborn, my wife is doing most of the feedings. I’m really struggling to find my place and role in how to contribute more as a parent. Thanks for your help.
Answer: Hey John, thanks for being a Parent’s Club member. This is a great question, and I felt the same way when my daughter Lily was born. My wife Erin would cover the feedings, and it was hard to figure out my place and role.
Times are changing though, and modern parenting is becoming more inclusive. This includes having fathers who are becoming more involved with caring for their children. In fact, research presented to the United Nations shows that fathers who are involved are healthier, happier, have increased self-confidence, and a much better understanding of their child’s development.
Today, dads are engaging more with their kids. In fact, sociologists at BYU and Ball State found that a majority of fathers today are relatively involved in their children’s lives, which is causing a shift in how fathers are viewing their roles. Today’s dad’s spend more time, provide more care, and are more loving towards their kids than ever before. Dads are increasingly seeing themselves as an equal parenting partner in raising their kids.
So it’s natural for you to ask the question of how you can play your part, especially if your partner is currently breastfeeding. Breast milk is typically all that a baby will need for the first six months. Regardless of how the baby is eating—breast or bottle-fed, there’s ways that fathers can help support. For example, you can help the baby latch, swaddle the baby after feeding, or by sitting next to your partner, fully engaged, to show that you’re being supportive.
You should definitely look into your paternity leave options, which will vary by country and company. Fathers who take a paternity leave end up being more confident in their caring abilities and have stronger relationships with their partners. It also helps your bond with your child, which the research points out can improve the child’s well-being later too.
Another idea for how you can help is to take a new-parent course on first aid. This will ensure that you’re equipped to respond in the event of an emergency with your infant. This will focus on preventing accidents, first aid, water safety, choking, and CPR for infants. Some courses will also get into other common symptoms like rashes or constipation.
Many of the parenting responsibilities actually don’t directly involve your baby. And that’s another area for dads to jump in. For example, you can take care of cooking, cleaning, and other upkeep around the house. If you’re proactive with helping here without being asked, it can help your partner feel more supported.
And lastly, spending time with your baby can help with early brain and language development. Research shows that signing, reading, and making facial expressions can help with increasing a baby’s attention and positive emotion. It’s a great way to bond with the baby. Playing games like Peek-a-boo make a difference in helping the baby learn your touch, voice, and face more quickly.
With a new baby at home, it’s often easier to stay at home. But going outside is good for both the parent’s mental health as well as the baby’s ability to explore different environments. When you go out, wearing a baby carrier is a great way to support mom, and baby-wearing is a great way for dads to bond too.
And if it weren’t obvious, while mom takes care of the baby during the day, you can consider taking on one of the night feeds so that your partner can get longer stretches of sleep. Babies can take a bottle within a few weeks of being born, so you can definitely help out if mom is able to pump, or if your family uses formula.
Sources
Behson, & Robins (2016). The Effects of Involved Fatherhood on Families, and How Fathers can be Supported both at the Workplace and in the Home. https://www.un.org/esa/socdev/family/docs/egm16/BehsonRobbins.pdf
